i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
