I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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