Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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