Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is it because I queefed?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
