Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
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dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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