If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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