I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
