It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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