You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
