I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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