I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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