I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize