I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
