This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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