i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
