She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
