and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
