Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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