Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
