i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize