Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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