I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
