I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
