I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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