make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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