He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
