ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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