ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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