I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize