I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Houston, we have a squirter
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
