We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
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Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
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There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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