There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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