Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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