i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She even gives head with a lisp.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
