if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
