I cockslap morals
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Randomize
