My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants