I want to walk on stilts...naked
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling