I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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