Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
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Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
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I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.