New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
