I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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