We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
