my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
