I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
