so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
