I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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