I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize