i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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