I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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