He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
this will be a night to untag.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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