yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
