guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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