Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
