just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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