so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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