What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
