the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
