you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
