on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
