Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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