You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I need moral support for this bender
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
